Article 1: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood. Article 3: Everyone has the rights to life, liberty and security of person. Article 5: No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment. Article 26(1): Everyone has the right to education. Higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.

THE REVOLUTION: OF HUMAN RIGHTS AND THE TEACHING PROFESSION IN MALAYSIA

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
Thomas Jefferson, United States Declaration of Independence.

More than 200 years after Thomas Jefferson's Declaration of Independence, these truths cease to be self-evident at least to some of the teachers in Malaysia.

Let us hope that one day there will be no more oppression and bullying in schools where the biggest bullies of all are none other than the school principals themselves.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

THE MOST DREADFUL YEAR IN MY LIFE

This is probbaly the most dreadful year that I have ever experienced in my life. I keep asking myself where is the happy girl whom I once was? Perhaps this happy girl does not exist anymore. In her place is someone who has totally lost all feelings and sensations for this world. I have finally discovered that I live completely without feelings now - just staring blankly into the future. Don't even know what I am doing. When I laugh it isn't really laughing and when I smile I am not really smiling. It is as though I am living from day to day just waiting for the time to pass. Normally, at this time of the year, I would be looking forward to celebrate Christmas and New Year. But even the thought of Christmas and New Year no longer has any significance to me now.

When I was first posted to this school, I was so proud of it that I went around telling everyone about my new posting. But now all I ever want is to go back to a primary school. Anyone here who can tell me what are the chances of me going back to teach in a primary school? Well, this is the only thing I ever want in my life now. Probably the only happiness that I can find. Did I make a mistake for pursuing a degree? Am I ruined by education? The answers seem to be in the affirmative. As what my colleagues said, "Penat, penat belajar kena potong gaji." (I studied so hard but got a pay cut instead.) Did I really get a promotion with my degree? If I were still teaching in a primary school with just my SPM cert my basic pay is higher than what I am getting now. What is the use of a PhD? Even with a PhD I would still be getting less than what a primary school teacher with only SPM qualification would get. Ridiculous, isn't it? Outsiders don't understand. They never will. Only those teachers who are in the same boat with me will understand.

I met a friend, Mr W, when we attended a course early this year. He has been teaching for nearly 20 years in a primary school before he was transferred to a secondary school. (The longer you teach in a primary school before you are transferred to a secondary school the more you have to lose.) He was my former classmate in UPM. He told me that he should have kept his degree quietly. I really pity him. He has been teaching longer than me. He told me that if he were still teaching in the primary school with only his SPM cert his basic pay would be about RM800 higher than what he is getting now. And he lost all his tuition allowance too. In a Chinese primary school every teacher can have a few hundred ringgit extra every month teaching tuition classes in the school. I used to take home about RM400-RM500 every month for the tuition classes alone. It does sound ridiculous that the primary school teachers who studied up to form five are getting a much higher basic pay than their contemporaries who have a master of education. No lies. I am a living example of this unfortunate victim. It seems that even NUTP couldn't do anything about this. I choose not to talk about it anymore- it's all too painful to talk about. I don't like to talk about unpleasant things. Just try to be happy and accept my fate. That's life. That was what I have been doing all these years knowing that the situation cannot be remedied. But what happened to me this year at school keep reminding me that I have made a terrible mistake ie I shouldn't have got that degree. I am filled with remorse now. If only I could have a second chance in life I will definitely NOT take up any degree programs. I only want to stay in a primary school and live happily ever after.

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