Article 1: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood. Article 3: Everyone has the rights to life, liberty and security of person. Article 5: No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment. Article 26(1): Everyone has the right to education. Higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
Thomas Jefferson, United States Declaration of Independence.

More than 200 years after Thomas Jefferson's Declaration of Independence, these truths cease to be self-evident at least to some of the teachers in Malaysia.

Let us hope that one day there will be no more oppression and bullying in schools where the biggest bullies of all are none other than the school principals themselves.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Today is my last day in SMK B??. The time has finally come for me to leave the school. The moment that I dreaded has finally arrived. This is the situation I expected since the beginning of the year when I was blacklisted by the principal just because I asked her to certify my certs for my PhD application. Because of my foolish mistake in asking her to certify the certs, I have been given a lot of extra work this year. She is probably too afraid that I would have the time to study for the PhD. Apart from sending me for the SPM invigilation during these holidays for the whole month she makes sure that I come back to school after the SPM invigilation for one day to be on duty. Even during the Hari Raya holidays in September she wanted me to come to school to be on duty for one day. Throughout the previous years those teachers who were sent for the SPM invigilation do not have to be on duty during the year end holidays. What's more - as if sending me for the SPM invigilation isn't enough she wanted me to come back to school during the days when I will be invigilating the SPM to settle certain things. In other schools, those teachers who could find a substitute for the SPM invigilation need not have to go. It's a voluntary job anyway. Other principals couldn't be bothered who is going as long as there is someone who is willing to go. But my present principal makes sure that I MUST go and she does not want the substitute teacher (a very nice and kind-hearted colleague who sympathizes with my plight) to go for me.

If the time machine really exists and I could go back to that day, the day I asked her to certify my certs, I would not have asked her. I shouldn't mention the word PhD in front of her. Just study and graduate quietly. That's what I should do. Then I don't have to leave the students that I love so much. Then I can retire in this school. That was what I intended to do all these years - to retire in this school. Our Prime Minister, Dato Seri Najib Tun Razak encourages more Malaysians to pursue their PhDs but does he know how much those who are doing their PhDs suffer? Now, I am paying the price because of my love for education. Since that day, the principal has been trying to look for my faults and weaknesses in everything that I do and if she could ever find any I am sure she would try her best to make life miserable for me. One example is clearly explained in the article "Oppression in a secondary school in Kuala Lumpur" (Just google this article and you will find it). The second one is on its way. That's why I started this blog - to let the whole world know what she is doing to me. And from her expression and behaviour today, I could sense that she is indeed doing something to bring about my downfall. What is her next tactic? I see it clearly now - to provoke me and another party so that we would fight each other. She purposely set fire to something which is so trivial. I am waiting to see what she is going to do and will be writing about this issue if she really does anything to me. Maybe everyone is curious to know who she is. One day, when I really couldn't stand it anymore, I would publish the name of the school in this blog. Now, I still prefer to remain anonymous. If I publish my name in this blog the whole world would know who the principal is. In withholding my name I am in a way also maintaining her anonymity. My photos may not appear too clear after shrinking but those who are close to me would know who I am. I don't dress up like this when I go to school and most of the time I prefer to tie up my hair.

In actual fact, there is no reason why I should leave the school. As what I said in my final speech today, the staffroom is very spacious and comfortable. I love my table. (My colleagues asked me to take the table home) The students in this school are little angels to me and as I said in my final speech today they cannot be found in another school. The school may be very far away but I have stayed on for nine years because of the students. I don't mind the distance. But circumstances just don't allow me to stay there anymore unless I want to invite my own suicide. Nine years - that's a very long time but my principal destroyed what I have built up these nine years. During the farewell ceremony when the students came to me to kiss and hug me one by one, I couldn't hold back my tears. I tried to smile but I started to cry instead. It was indeed a heart-rending ceremony. My students and I ... we were parted just like that - very reluctantly and unwillingly. But what else can I do? This is the best possible choice. The price of the PhD.

This is the most terrible year in my life. As I have said in my previous blog article, I have lost all sensations and feelings for this world - just staring blankly into the future thoughout this year. The saddest thing is I lost my students. I do not know if I can ever find students like them again. So innocent, well-mannered, a bit naughty perhaps but that's normal, very loving, and the girls especially like to manja-manja with me. An idea suddenly came into my mind recently. I wonder if I should take a few years off to do my PhD and then if it's still not too late perhaps I could apply for optional retirement and become a nun. Maybe going after the footsteps of Mother Teresa. Or perhaps I could go elsewhere to another part of the world as a missionary to help with the education of the less fortunate children. I used to be vey proud of my profession but after my prolonged suffering this year I am beginning to wonder if I have made the right choice in becoming a teacher. I do not deny the fact that I am suffering from emotional breakdown now after this year's suffering but I hope that time will heal me.

I do not know if Mr B, the chairman of the teachers' club, reads this blog but if he does I would like to thank him for the beautiful farewell ceremony that he organized for me and another five teachers today.


  1. As i can see nowadays, the education in malaysia is getting from worse to rotten. Would not have imagine such thing ever existed in the literate world vs the illiterate. It's shocking and ugly.
    U'll get your day anyway. Though it's going to get lotsa perseverance to go through something like this. This post was noticed on forum lowyat and i believe soon it will bring alot of attention.

  2. Thank you very much for your encouragement. I have always been living in my own world. All of a sudden I found that I have to fight such a fierce which I am totally unprepared for. I am still very naive I admit. I can only pray to God for the strength to fight this battle.